August 31, 2022

The importance of consent and communication when giving Sextoys as gifts

By Emma Hewitt, Sex Educator at Adulttoymegastore

Dakota Johnson recently told people they should buy everyone they know butt plugs for Christmas, and I would recommend a more nuanced approach to your gift-giving. Sure, some people would love a butt plug for Christmas. I’d love Dakota to send me a butt plug, but I know plenty of people who would be less than stoked to receive one. Not everyone is into anal play and not everyone is into sex toys and we need to respect that.

Gifting a sex toy, whether a butt plug or any other toy, without consent, is crossing a line and can make people feel embarrassed, triggered, uncomfortable, or disrespected.

So, what areare the key things to consider before buying someone a sex toy for Christmas?

I think the two most important things to consider before buying someone a sex toy for Christmas are does that person want a sex toy for Christmas and does that person want a sex toy from you specifically? If you’re in a relationship with that person, or a close friend, and you have talked about sex toys together before, then they are more likely to be happy to receive one. If not, you need to be more cautious about it.

The importance ofof consent and communication

Consent and communication are two of the most important parts of any sexual situation and they apply to sex toys too. We need open communication to ensure that what we are doing appeals to and feels good to everyone involved. And consent is non-negotiable!

I hear this talk from time to time that consent is ruining sexual spontaneity and it’s such bullshit. What is sexier than knowing 100% that both you and whoever you are playing with are super into what is about to go down? No stress, no apprehension, just hot, connected sex and pleasure.

It’s the same with toys! If you don’t know for sure that someone is happy to receive a sex toy from you, ask them! They will still be happy to receive it, even if they know it’s coming, and you can be sure that you are getting them something they will love. And, if they say no, that’s cool too, get them something else instead.

A sex educator’seducator’s top tips for buying someone a sex toy for Christmas: 

– Get consent first! Float the idea with them to see how they feel about it. And if they don’t seem into it, don’t get them one. Simple.

– Know what type of toy they want to receive. Sex toys are personal, and people can be very specific about what they like. I have a lot of sex toys, but I go for certain brands, materials, shapes and sizes time and time again. So, take the time to find out what they’re into first.

– If you aren’t sure, take a look through a sex toy website together, like Adulttoymegastore, and note down a few things they seem interested in. Better yet, have them create and share their wishlist with you! Everything on that list is something they are interested in so you can’t go wrong.

– Consider where they are going to open it and suggest they do it in private. They may be happy to receive a sex toy but prefer not to open it in front of their parents or granny!

– Only do it for the right reasons. What’s the intent behind the gift? Is it something that you think they will enjoy, or are you sending it to shock, tease or make them feel uncomfortable? Because if it’s not for their pleasure, you’re being a creep.

Emma’s top sexsex toy Christmas gift ideas for 2021

–        Share Satisfaction Massage candle

These are honestly the best. They smell delightful and melt into the silkiest, smoothest massage oil that you can pour on a partner without scolding them.

–        Satisfyer High Fly

This is a finger vibe that can be used for massaging all over the body. Plus, it looks like a jet plane candy. A Kiwi favourite! 

–        Share Satisfaction Masturbation Egg

The perfect gift for people with penises and a great stocking filler due to its small size. Masturbator eggs are ideal for solo fun or partnered play.

–        B-vibe Petite Rimming Plug

If you have consent and know someone is into anal play, then a butt plug can be an amazing gift! This one has vibration and rotating beads in the neck for a rimming sensation.

–        Share Satisfaction Kama

It’s rated 4.8 out of 5 stars so you know it’s good! If you are buying for a vulva owner and know they like or are interested in suction toys, Kama is the one.

Emma Hewitt is a sex educator and sex toy expert with Adulttoymegastore. Her podcast Electro Rodeo celebrates sexuality, sex toys and healthy sex lives.