February 14, 2022

ATMS Sex Survey – Stress; The unsurprising sex-life killer

The great Adulttoymegastore Sex Survey has revealed upsetting figures that almost half of us have turned down sexual advances due to biggest cockblock, stress.

It’s a catch 22. Sex is one of the best methods for reducing stress, yet if you’re frazzled enough the last thing on your mind is getting down and dirty.

Conscious and subconscious stress is putting a big red ‘no means no’ sign at front of mind for a lot of us, especially unhelpful during a global pandemic and great financial crisis. 

The Adulttoymegastore Sex Survey shows that out of its trans-Tasman respondents, almost half of all of us are having our sex life slowly pushed to the side by daily stresses, sometimes which metabolises as fatigue and irritability. 

Fatigue was the number one cause of bedroom inactivity according to Australians and New Zealanders surveyed by UMR. Almost one in two respondents said their sex lives were hindered by fatigue (42 percent of New Zealanders and 40 percent of Australians). New Zealand women were the most affected followed by Australian women.

There were generational impacts too, with Gen Y and Gen X the most impacted by fatigue. Of those surveyed 51 percent of Gen Y respondents said lack of sleep was impacting their sex lives, followed by 46 percent of Gen X. Generations least affected are baby boomers (30 percent) and Silent gen (24 percent)

One third of New Zealanders and Australians said their sex lives were impacted by stress. Generation Y were again losing out at 44percent. Only 21percent of Baby boomers and 14percent of the silent generation said stress was taking a toll on their sex lives. 

Gen Z (48 percent) and Gen Y (47 percent) respondents also said they didn’t have enough time to have as much sex as they wanted.

Head of Customer Satisfaction at Adulttoymegastore Emma Hewitt says finding the time to have sex when you’re not tired and you’re not stressed is absolutely key to having great sex. Having a different libido to your partner was another challenge, she said.

“Our survey found 29 percent of New Zealanders and Australians believe having a different libido to their partners is hindering their sex lives. Those difference impact women at 30percent more than men at 28 percent and they hit Gen X the most. Gen Z were the least likely to have libido differences with only 17percent. Gen Z men in particular had only 7percent report a difference.”

Hewitt says the key to working out libido differences and get back to having a healthy sex life is to be open and honest with each other.

“It’s important to just tell the truth. If your relationship is important to you, you must be able to be vulnerable with each other and share without judgement. Talk about your needs, not just with sex but with intimacy too. Talk about masturbation, how often you’d ideally like to be intimate, and what sexual activity works best for you. It’s never too late to have the conversation.

So, to help you out here are the top stress releases (real ones that don’t include exercise or sleep) to get you back on the road to pleasure town.

 

1)    Scream into the sky

–       A build of stress has to go somewhere, might as well scream it into the sun. 

2)    Bust one out

–       You may be too tired to be intimate with your partner but busting one out yourself quickly and in an animalistic way will give you that sweet release of endorphins without the heavy lifting. I highly recommend this and this from ATMS.

3)    Cry

–       A good stress cry will help balance the hormones as they expel through your tear ducts.

4)    Hold an animal

–       Holding a small animal (preferably one that you already own) is a great way to de-stress as they struggle in your arms to get away from you.

… and One Warning

Make sure your chosen stress-reliever is NOT an activity that might relieve stress in the short run but pile it on in the long run. Including habits like smoking, procrastinating, over-drinking, and overeating. Everything in moderation.