August 13, 2019

Why simple sex still reigns supreme

Naked Opinions

“Should we have sex?”

“Yeah sure.”

That right there is the beautiful simplicity of having sex when you’re in a long term committed relationship and have been locked inside the house together for a total of 10 weeks out of the year.

I worried our magic would slowly shrivel up and die in Lockdown; I’m now attuned to his pooping schedule so well I know when to schedule cleaning the bathroom.

He often sees me violently snort myself awake. We all have our flaws.

What I’ve notice come out of this lockdown is;

1) An increase in the frequency of our sex

2) A decrease in the effort we put into sex during the day

Maybe it’s because having sex in daylight is more confronting, all of our body is on display in the harsh afternoon sun, pulling out the handcuffs at 4pm just seems a bit much.

My partner and I are two straight white people, and our sex is the kind you can imagine two straight white people would have. We mix it up sometimes, we have toys, we have outfits, yet we always revert back to simple. Because we know it, and because we know it works. I have never loved anyone more than this man. Despite the little things that make me want to throw myself off the roof (like putting clothes on top of the laundry hamper). And I think it’s love that makes simple sex seem so inviting.

You’re more likely to have simple sex with someone you love. My partner and I could make a sex tape and it would barely be considered PG13. Yet to me, we’re wild. To me our love is hot, steamy, and passionate. When in reality, it’s not even enough to scare the cat off the bed.

People may call it Vanilla. But what’s the highest category of Ice Cream sold? That’s right, Vanilla. Check mate, bitch. The amount of porn I have seen in my life has me thinking that if our sex isn’t wake-the-neighbours loud, it’s not good sex. If we’re not on a leather sofa in a strange room or in a pool house where the bed has a god-awful burgundy comforter on it, we’re already setting ourselves up for failure.

Admittedly I watch predominantly girl on girl porn, and even with that the amount of turkey stuffing techniques, and tribbing like you’re trying to stay on a bucking bull; even in this category I’m boring. Let’s for a second, re-position the word boring. And let’s bring in a new term, Minimalist Sex.

Look at the recent rise of minimalism. Society now revels in simplicity. We find joy in not being shouted at by everything. You should translate that joy into the bedroom. The only thing that makes us think we should be having rough sex is through how we’ve been conditioned to think the other partner expects it.

It will take you time to recondition yourself. It will take time to tell yourself the truth that hey, maybe getting cum in your eyes isn’t all it’s cracked up to be, maybe I don’t like anal, maybe headstands make me lightheaded.

You’ll discover all these things about yourself when you do things you don’t like, yet with simple sex all you’ll discover is how easy it is to show the other person you love them and are present in the moment. Simple fingers tracking their body and light breaths do the encouraging, rather than screams and deep chested moans loud enough to offend god.

If you sex is minimalist, but it sparks joy, do a Maria Kondo and keep that shit. If it doesn’t spark joy, throw it out (not the partner, I would suggest communication in that case.) And of course, if kinky, balls to the wall sex is what gets you going, then let nothing hold you back.

We love a minimal queen

With intercourse of any kind, if two people are enjoying themselves, it’s not boring. You could be doing missionary for three minutes, you could be getting fucked from the top while doing a headstand, either or, if you’re enjoying yourself, it’s not boring. Revel in the fact that you’ve got someone who is revelling in you as a person, as a personality and as a soul.