Exploring The Biblical Hell-Hole Of Anti-Masturbation Propaganda

Quick disclaimer; Here at Nak-Ed we support all religions and ideals. What we don’t support is using the fictitious idea of using a high power to guilt people out of masturbation.

It is common knowledge Christians believe it is a sin to masturbate, despite nowhere in the Bible mentioning masturbation explicitly forbidden.

They link self pleasure to the whole sex before marriage no-no – However it isn’t just Christianity, a lot of religions believe self pleasure is a sin, and if it is, I am on a one way ticket to hell.

For the sake of my exploration I decided to look into Christianity’s views on masturbation. Purely due to the over sexualised portrayal of Jesus.

I stumbled upon what I believe to be the ‘holy grail’ if you will, of anti-masturbation sites – How To Stop Masturbating in 10 Simple but Powerful Steps”.

Here the Christian founder links masturbation to an addiction similar to Heroin abuse. He goes on to claim sexual urges are temptations that lead you away from God.

The site has a lot of information (some misleading, some just downright weird), including some top tier references to masturbation, which include but are not limited too;

Despite, working up a foamy lather being the grossest thing I’ve ever heard, the website factors more intently on female masturbation. The site states that some females can get off from humping, touching, grinding and some women can even get off without touching anything at all.

If any of these women mentioned in the latter group start a podcast or ‘How To’ series, please let me know.

The site then goes on to list the top 3 reasons why women masturbate.

What really ‘trembles my knees’ here is that none of the listed reasons why women may ‘tame the shrew’ are negative.

It is an interesting insight into how women under Christian rule are meant to suffer for the sake of suffering. Most people strive for a good night sleep and an improved state of being, but sorry to my Christian ladies, that apparently can only happen once you’re owned by a man, then by all means, throw a party for one as much a you want.

The site encourages quitting cold-turkey, as once you remember how awesome it feels to masturbate, it will get harder and harder to stop.

“The more you use it, the more you want it. The stronger the desire gets. Sin begets sin.” – The founder states.

This is true, many people I know who have masturbated haven’t stopped. Nor do they plan to.

BENEFITS TO ‘TAMING THE SHREW’

Masturbation, among having many other benefits, is used to increase sexual energy, great news? Not according to GOD or his suspiciously sexy son, Jesus.

The website also goes on to state:

“[Masturbating] might also lead to strong feelings of independence, self-determination, and freedom. You feel powerful and sexy, and defensive of your habits. The idea that masturbation is a sin is practically offensive. The problem is that these feelings are fleeting. As soon as the moment is over you might find yourself swinging in the opposite directing feeling depressed, lonely, ashamed and convicted.”

The issue is, “Orgasms outside of marriage are problematic”

Many species in the animal kingdom masturbate, yet as far as I’m aware, Dolphin marriages under the eyes of God are not all that common. Does this mean all animals go to hell? The answer is yes!

So you may be asking, how do I stop masturbating in a biblical way??? Please god help me stop ‘playing a piano solo’

Step 1 in this 10 step program is confess. So rock up to confessional, tell the father you’ve been ‘ticking the taco’ and he’ll chuck a get out of hell free card through the little window. (I assume)

Then we get into the real advice, followed, naturally, by the authors quick plug for their E-Book first.

1) Get a piece of paper or a journal and begin writing down why exactly this decision is important to you. (Example, I want to stop flicking the bean as I’m too full of peace, energy and confidence)

2) Form a new habit – Every-time you feel like jackin’ it, choose from your top five activities to replace it (Site suggests: Praying, folding laundry, candle making or ‘watch something churchy’)

3) Reward yourself when you resist (Site suggests: Stickers, marbles (?), money or cake) 

4) Buddy Up! Find someone to encourage you not to masturbate – Thanks Mom!

5) Get rid of triggers – Throw away 50 shades and your shirtless Jesus statues and pick up a bible.

6) Find your Christian Tribe – “Surround yourself with others who share your values and will encourage you in your walk with God.”

7) Visualise your success – Picture yourself NOT masturbating, perhaps you’re standing in the kitchen or looking out a window or holding some marbles? – Nice!

8) Renew your mind – Basically suggesting a bible group.

9) Forgive yourself – “If you’re going to change this habit you’ve got to be prepared for a battle against Satan. But if you slip up, forgive yourself and try again!”

10) Celebrate the victories – “Start by giving thanks to God. – Have yourself a little worship party.”

So those are the top ten tips to stop masturbating in the name of God.

If you personally feel the need to follow this advice then go for it. However, do not let yourself be guilt tripped into folding laundry instead of flicking the bean because your body ‘belongs to God’.

The comments on this article are frightening, not because of the devout belief that some dude in the sky gave us genitals which we can’t touch, but because of the amount of guilt and self loathing readers feel.

“I have been struggling as well. I grew up in church so i know that this is not right. I try to stop but i always find myself in the same position. Im only 16 i still have time to turn these actions around. Today im going to start doing these steps. Im going to make sure i get better.”

This 16 year old, someone who is at the peak of their sexual explorations, is already being made to feel guilty for something completely natural. To be made to feel shameful from a group that is meant to be about love and understanding.

There is no shame or guilt in masturbating.

If anyone here is on the fence, just know there is nothing immoral, wrong, or shameful in self pleasure. It has a wide range of benefits, but the only thing that should matter is that it makes you feel good and isn’t harmful to yourself. (and as long as your doing it in a consensual way that isn’t harming others)

I may be on a one way street to the Devil’s bedroom, but I’d rather enjoy myself while on earth rather than place restrictions on my own body for an afterlife that isn’t guaranteed.