I’m a firm believer that crystals give you as much power as you give them. If you believe it is just a glorified rock, then that’s what it will be. But if you believe it has healing properties, then it most likely will.

However, there is a special type of believer out there that thinks their current crystals aren’t quite doing enough, and perhaps the problems they have could be solved by using a more, internal measure.

My first thought on gazing upon Meeluvhs Secret Garden’s wide range of crystal dildos was, ‘These look like they would be cold on insertion’ – Needless to say I have never inserted a crystal into my vagina for healing purposes, however I did accidentally swallow a rose quartz when I was 6.

Like all good dildos, Meeluv’s range is wide and long. Available in types such as Rose Quartz, Black Obsidian and Clear Quartz. These literal rock solid options apparently provide a range of benefits, such as providing comfort in times of pain, fostering emotional stability and cleansing the energetic field.

This BBO can be yours for the cool price of $200

What I think makes these crystals so striking is that for healing purposes you’d imagine a smaller, more compact crystal would do the trick. However, these bad boys look like the kind that would blow your back out, crystal all over you face then refuse to answer your calls.

Now the healing properties of crystals have been heralded for years, growing even more in the recent resurgent of modern holistic witchcraft. They work by altering your energy from the inside out, which begs the question if they do that from the safety of my hands, why go the extra step and hang out with a big black obsidian inside me?

The answer – why not.

Sceptics may say you are just inserting a rock into your vagina and hoping it’s going to fix your problems. I argue, we have been putting all sorts of things in our vaginas for the sake of problem solving for years.