The Great Purple-Teal Sex Toy Conspiracy

Ah, the world of sex toys – a realm of pleasure, innovation, and an inexplicable obsession with the colours purple and teal.

It’s as if these hues have been knighted by some clandestine cabal of adult toy designers, however the deep eggplant and sea foam esc colours haunting our toy draws don’t exact scream sexy, so why are they all colour this way?

Let’s dive into the murky, glittery waters of why your intimate gadgets look like they’re all vying for a spot in a high school cheerleading squad.

What do these colours mean?

Let’s start by unpacking these colours.

Purple is notably the colour of kings, queens, and apparently, vibrating wands. The connection here is as clear as day: pleasure should be regal. When you’re alone, with nothing but your thoughts and a silicone friend, wouldn’t you prefer the ambiance of an imperial court? It’s practically Shakespearean if Shakespeare had jacked off all day instead of writing plays.

But there’s more. Purple is also the colour of mystery and magic. And if there’s anything that screams “mystery,” it’s a neon-bright toy that hums like a swarm of bees.

Now, let’s talk about teal. Not quite blue, not quite green, it’s the Switzerland of colours: neutral, but with a hint of whimsy. Teal is the colour of serene tropical waters, which is exactly where you’d want your mind to drift when you’re using, say, a teal bullet vibrator.

Teal also has a calming effect, scientifically proven to lower stress levels. And, let’s face it, if you’re resorting to mechanical intervention for your romantic needs for the third time in one day, a little calming influence can’t hurt.

The Hidden Science

Some have suggested purple and teal are gender neutral colours as blue + pink = purple. It’s loose maths but it’s still a theory to consider. Other have suggested that rows and rows upon flesh coloured toys in a sex shop. would be considered off-putting so the bright hues create a more welcoming space.

But let’s get real for a moment. The dominance of purple and teal in the sex toy market isn’t just about aesthetics. It’s about psychology and colour theory. Studies suggest that people associate these colours with creativity and uniqueness. If you’re buying a sex toy, you probably want to feel like it’s a special, one-of-a-kind experience, not just another Tuesday night with a run-of-the-mill massager.

According to colour psychology, purple is often linked to feelings of luxury, creativity, and sensuality. It’s no wonder that a shade historically reserved for royalty has found its way into your bedside drawer. Researchers have found that purple can stimulate the imagination and inspire high ideals, which might just translate to, “Yes, I deserve this.” And you do.

Teal, on the other hand, combines the calming properties of blue with the invigorating aspects of green. It’s a colour that represents balance, tranquility, and rejuvenation. Studies have shown that teal can lower stress and anxiety, creating a sense of calm and clarity.

Moreover, colour theory suggests that these hues are perceived as less threatening and more welcoming. Purple and teal, are approachable, friendly, and somehow manage to say, “I’m here for a good time, not a long time.”

And of course we can’t forget that sex toys are exactly that, a toy to have fun with. So maybe our monkey brains think ‘toy colour = fun times’ and it would be correct.

Of course, there’s also the marketing angle. Purple and teal stand out on a shelf. They catch the eye, inviting you to explore their delights. When you see these colours, you don’t think of mundane tasks or daily drudgery. You think of fun, excitement, and a touch of the exotic.

Although we are seeing more toys come into the market following colour trends such as Girls Get Off Mini or the Satisfier Pros Millennial Pink or the Rabbits Hot Fuchsia, Purple and Teal are still hues found in the most basic lines.

The Girls Get Off Mini was a refreshing move away from the harshness of purple toys
The Girls Get Off Mini was a refreshing move away from the harshness of purple toys

As we pivot to toys becoming more staple pieces of the home, we may find these classic colours give way to more trending looks such as naturals, greens and pastels.

The Real Conspiracy?

So, is there a grand, shadowy conspiracy dictating the colour schemes of our adult playthings? Are executives in board rooms miles away playing with out psyche with tired and true marketing tactics? Maybe. Maybe it’s just that purple and teal are the unsung heroes of the colour wheel, finally getting their time to shine. Or maybe it’s because flesh coloured sextoys are mildly off-putting.

Perhaps the real question is not why these colours dominate, but why we don’t question it when purchasing toys. It’s not often you’d buy something if the only two options were purple or teal, yet when it comes to cumming we don’t seem fussed. Potentially highlighting self-pleasure is 100% about the destination not about the colour of the car we take to get there.

In the end, whether it’s purple, teal, or any shade in between, the goal is the same: to bring joy and satisfaction into our lives. And if that magic happens to come in the form of a neon-coloured silicone masterpiece, who are we to argue?

So, the next time you reach for your favourite purple or teal toy, just remember: you’re not just indulging in a moment of pleasure. You’re part of a brain washed community of pleasure seekers across the globe. Welcome to the club.